Brendan Bee was a fuzzy, wuzzy, buzzy,
He spent all day drinking coffee with his cousee!

Brendan Bee was a fuzzy, wuzzy, buzzy,
He felt that his nose was peculiarly muzzy.

Brendan Bee was a fuzzy, wuzzy, buzzy,
He spent all day thinking dizzy dessie, does 'e?

Brendan Bee was a fuzzy, wuzzy, buzzy,
A wasp, was he not, but a bee was 'e, was 'e!

Author's Comments: Nonsense about a Bee. The revised third line could either refer to a dizzily expensive des res i.e. property, or a deliciously scrummy dessert!

http://www.postpoems.com/members/jonfeb

Some of you will have already seen this site:

http://vozme.com/

Here's a way of sending something incognito in case you ever need the facility!

http://www.guerrillamail.com/

Any suggestions?

Dear Mahima,

Wishing you a joyful occasion and incredible year ahead!

Now... let me pose the following question to bolgers:

Would you like to be 18 again?

What am I thinking?

I am having a nice quiet evening in.

AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

Bjørge Lillelien (March 29, 1927 – October 26, 1987) was a Norwegian sports journalist and commentator.

A commentator for NRK from 1957 until just before his death from cancer in 1987, he commentated on many sports, but concentrated on winter sports and football.

Most famously, he commentated on Norway's 2-1 victory against England in a World Cup qualifier in Oslo on September 9, 1981. At the end of the match, alternating between English and Norwegian, he proclaimed (in Norwegian) "We are best in the world! We have beaten England! England, birthplace of giants", before taunting a roll call of famous English people, usually quoted in an edited, English-only form as follows:

"Lord Nelson, Lord Beaverbrook, Sir Winston Churchill, Sir Anthony Eden, Clement Attlee, Henry Cooper, Lady Diana, vi har slått dem alle sammen, vi har slått dem alle sammen [we have beaten them all, we have beaten them all]. Maggie Thatcher, can you hear me? Maggie Thatcher [...] your boys took a hell of a beating! Your boys took a hell of a beating!"

Although the commentary was for Norwegian radio, it soon made its way to an English audience, and became quite famous in England, where it is generally regarded with good humour and even affection.

Pariodies and homages

In 2002 Lillelien's words were designated the greatest piece of sports commentary ever by The Observer's Sport Monthly magazine. Such is its place in British sporting culture that parodies of the commentary have been written to celebrate domestic sporting victories, such as the following when the England cricket team beat Australia to regain the Ashes in September 2005:

"Kylie Minogue! Steve Irwin! Holly Valance! Crocodile Dundee! Natalie Imbruglia! Ian Thorpe! Mrs. Mangel! Can you hear me? Your boys took one hell of a beating!"

And again, when England's cricket team finally won a game (against New Zealand) on the 2006/7 Ashes tour, the BBC's web coverage came up with:

"Dame Kiri te Kanawa, Peter Jackson, Neil Finn, Sir Edmund Hillary, Jonah Lomu - we have beaten them all! Helen Clark, can you hear me? Your boys took one hell of a beating!"

Following Scotland's 2-1 victory against Norway in Oslo in September of 2005, the Daily Record parodized the quote, using known Norwegians:

"King Olaf, Roald Amundsen, Liv Ullmann, Edvard Munch, Vidkun Quisling, Thor Heyerdahl, Henrik Ibsen, Edvard Grieg, Monty Python's Norwegian Blue, Morten Harket, and Anni-Frid from ABBA. You boys took a helluva beating!"

The Deputy Editor of the Daily Record at the time, Murray Foote, since issued an apology for the inclusion of Vidkun Quisling in the quotation:

"While I naturally assumed Quisling was not one of Norway's favourite sons, I was truly unaware of the deep loathing his name engenders amongst your countrymen.

Had I been aware of this, I would not have used his name and I apologise unreservedly for the offence it caused."

Following England's 14-9 defeat of France in the 2007 Rugby World Cup a naturally excited Will Greenwood exclaimed "Francois Mitterand! Michel Platini! Your boys took one hell of a beating!"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bj%C3%B8rge_Lillelien

Can anyone shed any light on exactly how you work out the following relationships:

2nd cousin
3rd cousin
1st cousin, once removed

(etc.)

My plan is working!

Here is an extract from a typical conversation between myself and a sibling at around age ten.

Sibling - "How did that chair get here?"

Znethru - "It magicked!"

I have set up a new poem/song over at the Interactive Poetry Pages.

Let's see if we can continue the song/poem with different lines written by different BCUK poets...

http://atlas.csd.net/~cantelow/cgi-bin/poem_add.pl/pyro/1/1189/

password to prove you are human - "Saturn Ring" as one word in lower case.

What Five things am I grateful for?

1. That I've got a roof over my head.

2. The Internet.

3. That I learnt how to play the piano from age 4.

4. Feelgood Factor Films.

5. Friends both 'real life' and 'cyber'.

NotBob asked today: how slow is the internet at the moment?

My reply?

It's slower than a snail on strike on his day off.

Pretty facetious, but my favourite is the answer that can safely be given to anything involving a time-period.

How long will it take?

It will take as long as it takes.

A bit like: how long is a piece of string? i.e. answering a question with a question.

OK, so I am eccentric and facetious. Whatever next?

When sending an email, a great opportunity for eccentricity arises in the form of the "Subject header".

One I have been toying with today (for particularly important and urgent messages) is:

"Spam, please delete."

If only one could send snail mail letters with a similar header... perhaps then recipients would tear up cheques instead of bothering to open the letter.

To all my readers, can I wish you a Happy Friend's Day!

An invention of BCUK's Kelly from Canada:

http://www.globalideasbank.org/site/bank/idea.php?ideaId=6047

Well that was a pretty interesting meme. Fortunately, I don't think anyone tagged me, as the only fact I could come up with is that I do not own a goldfish.

In other news, today I was the tallest person in the post office queue. Not that I'm a giant or anything, I'm just six foot nothing, but the other people in the post office were all on the short side.

Please check out the idea/concept Kelly had published last year (and which is still up on the internet over at 'Global Ideas Bank').

http://www.globalideasbank.org/site/bank/idea.php?ideaId=6047

Not much has happened today and it's happened rather slowly.

A friend (not me, a friend you understand) had been preparing a parcel or package to send to an eminent musical organisation in the UK.

Myself, I've been busy sending parcels to musicians in Australia, Switzerland, Germany and this country, so someone is keeping the post office in business...

Anyway, back to my friend. He had been busily preparing the most complex source materials available to impress the organisation and was finally (after 6 weeks) on the verge of posting the parcel.

As he was about to post it off (last Friday), it dawned on him that he didn't have the correct snail mail to post it to. He sent an email urgently around lunchtime Friday to the person responsible. This was 'chased' Monday lunchtime. Today, still nothing had been heard, so a desperate measure was called for i.e. a 1-2-1 telephone call.

The result of the phone call?

"I'm sorry, that person no longer works here."

5 thingies to do before one kicks the proverbial bucket.

Place to visit: Melbourne

Book to read: Doctor Fish (although, I've got to write it first!)

Food to experiment with: Lobster Thermostat

Drink: Cristal

Person to meet: Richard Curtis

My sound card "Sound Blaster Live!" is 'playing up'. I think I am going to have to get a replacement urgently.

Can anyone recommend a v good quality sound card that could be used by a professional classical musician - preferably one that works in conjunction with Sibelius Software (a music engraving programme).

Any further info/pages on 'how to replace a soundcard' on the internet would also be appreciated!

I sent a parcel to a suburb of Sydney, Australia on January 30th.

Reading the smallprint of the Royal Mail website, I discover that:

"Airmail is the fastest and most cost-effective way to send items worldwide."

That they have a "Fast delivery" policy:

and that,

"We aim to deliver to European destinations within three working days and worldwide within five."

Interesting. It has so far taken them between six and nine working days (depending upon how you define 'working day') to NOT deliver my parcel.

Now, I read:

We provide compensation cover for the value of your item up to £34 in the event of loss or damage - ask for a Certificate of Posting at the Post Office™.

Three guesses as to whether I got a "Certificate of Posting".

It definitely 'feels' like a Saturday today (which is good). A lot of my days can seem exactly the same, what with keeping such a regular routine.

I am feeling quite organised and sensible today, really - far too much so to spend too long on this website (sadly).

look away from your monitor - what is the first thing you see?

A bottle of evian natural mineral water (half full!)

contents of favourite pie:

salmon puff pastry type thing.

what would you get rid of from your life:

I've already used Occam's razor to the nth degree, however, I am aware of a few decorative items I'd like to add to my meagre existence!

Which new room would you put into your house: A sanctuary for Aardvarks (of course).

What did you think you'd be when you grew up: A musician, a mathematician and a millionaire (one out of three ain't bad)... also I always figured I'd be self-employed (so two out of four kind of).

I seen a peanut stand
And heard a rubber band
I seen a needle that winked it's eye
But I been done seen about everything
When I see a elephant fly

I seen a front porch swing
Heard a diamond ring
I seen a polka dot railroad tie
But I been done seen 'bout everything
When I see a elephant fly

I saw a clothes horse he r'ar up and buck
And they tell me that a man made a vegetable truck
I didn't see that, I only heard
But just to be sociable I'll take your word

I heard a fireside chat
I saw a baseball bat
And I just laughed til I thought I'd die
But I been done seen 'bout everything
When I see a elephant fly

Oh yes, back in the day, we'd stay up to ridiculously late times in the morning (even on school nights) writing blog-postings to entertain our International visitings.

I really need to get some of Mahima's baked beans cookin' (I wonder if she was inspired to eat those after a recent broadcast of 'Blazing Saddles'?)

It's been a pretty heavy day over here. Feels like I've been walking through smog all day long. Wasn't helped by waking up late and feeling groggy until about 14.00 2pm and bolting lunch.

The news doesn't seem to have any direction today. I saw a photo of that Amy, the singer - she looked pretty ill to me. Sad how young kids make it big get loads of money and then shove a load of coke up their noses. They should take up bridge instead - a much more rewarding pastime.

I do not score these new issue doggie stamps much above a "two minus" out of ten.

Can you give an example of your eccentricity from the last 7 days?

Enjoyed todays training, I did strength training - 4 sets of squats, 4 sets of deadlifts and 4 sets of push press. I have not done this training for over a month and it showed but all the same I bloody enjoyed it. As I write this my legs feel real tired which is good, shows I worked them!

I have not been that busy today and when I not busy I got bored easy, this is a problem for me - I need to be busy. Today I was fine but the longer it goes on the harder it will be for me - so lets hope I get busier!

Todays Diet;
Breakfast - Porridge with honey
Lunch - Morrocan salad with chicken
Dinner - Pasta filled with spinach & ricotta with 2 chicken breasts (small)and Napoleanta sauce.
Snack - Black Grapes (1/4 bunch)
Late snack - 1 scoop of protein

Enjoyed todays training at the moment I want to train tomorrow but I'm not sure how my legs will react in the morning so will have to wait and see?

Good Night Everyone!

http://trainer4u.blog.co.uk/

There was an old man named Michael Finnegan,
He grew whiskers on his chin-egan,
The wind came out and blew them in again,
Poor old Michael Finnegan, begin again.

There was an old man named Michael Finnegan
He went fishing with a pin-egan,
Caught a fish and dropped it in-egan,
Poor old Michael Finnegan, begin again.

There was an old man named Michael Finnegan,
Climbed a tree and barked his shin-egan,
Took off several yards of skin-egan,
Poor old Michael Finnegan, begin again.

There was an old man named Michael Finnegan,
He kicked up an awful din-egan,
Because they said he could not sing-egan,
Poor old Michael Finnegan, begin again.

There was an old man named Michael Finnegan,
He got fat and then got thin again,
Then he died and had to begin again,
Poor old Michael Finnegan—STOP!

Old Computer Nerds never die, they just get a new email address.

I hope the coming year turns out to be a particularly good one for you!

I could only answer the following five questions from yesterday's meme.

What is your earliest memory?

Being stung on the big toe by a bumble bee while walking barefoot on the lawn of my grandparents house in Blackpool aged about 3 or 4.

Aside from property what is the most expensive thing you bought?

In real terms, my Yamaha U3AS Upright Piano. My next Piano will be seriously expensive (if I decide to take the plunge). On an almost equal footing, is my brand new (but bottom of the range) Peugeot ‘Zest’ 106 (car).

Have you ever said "I love you" and not meant it?

No. But as a joke, I did once ask someone to marry me who was already a) engaged and b) had a reserve suitor up her sleeve as well (and that’s no joke).

What is the closest you've come to death?

A cycling miscalculation in 1973 in Lille, France (no damage done, but some cars had to slam their brakes on pretty hard) could have seen my untimely demise.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you to date?

Things can get better, so remain optimistic.

So why shouldn't I blog when I am in a good mood! This good mood started at about 18.00 yesterday as the crow flies. It continued in a Chinese Restaurant while being regaled with some imaginative stories by Mr B and so into the night as I did battle with furniture (details sketchy).

The happy factor has continued unabated until this present time of 12.15 - so, only 5 hrs 45 to make it a solid day of smiling.

I could be exaggerating the case as about 9 hours of the duration to date has been while unconscious or at least, asleep.

No doubt, the usual foul mood/bitter undertone will be resumed as soon as any normal aspects of reality start to kick in first thing on Monday morning.